


Five Hours

by mysupernaturalobsessions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Human Castiel, M/M, study abroad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:25:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4544853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysupernaturalobsessions/pseuds/mysupernaturalobsessions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is on study abroad and secretly in love with his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Hours

“Cas?” Dean answered his phone groggily. He reached across his bed to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. The light flickered for a moment before bursting to life. Dean squinted his eyes against it. “Are you all right?”

“Hello, Dean.” He sat up against the headboard. “I’m fine. Sorry to call so late.”

“S’okay. What time is it there?”

Cas checked the clock. “Nearly eight.”

“Early day?”

Cas shook his head, though Dean couldn’t see it. He clutched the phone closer to his ear with both hands. “Not exactly.”

“Cas?”

Castiel took a deep breathe. He had been gone almost three months now and he missed his best friend like crazy. They rarely talked anymore. When they did Cas could practically feel all four thousand miles between them. The distance made him ache.

At first, he tried to call less. But that hurt, too. He always gave in after long stretches, usually late at night when his defenses were lessened and he couldn’t fall asleep because his head was so full of Dean. 

He wished, sometimes, that he had confessed his love before he left. Even if Dean had rejected him, at least there would be some closure. Cas could delete his number, could try to move on. Instead, he was just stuck. Maybe they both were - because Dean had a life of his own and too many casual girlfriends to mention, and yet he kept answering the phone. 

“Come on, man,” Dean said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Cas tried to sound cheerful. “Really. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, it’s good to hear from you, man. We had a crazy night last night. Jo took me to the club - you would have hated it. Oh, man, there was this girl dancing on the table and then Meg, you know that girl from Finance class, got in a huge fight with her. Like hair ripping, finger nails claw fight.”

“You are right, I would have hated it.”

“Nah, the other girl was actually pretty cool, though. Her name’s Anna. She throws a mean punch.”

Cas waited. He didn’t want to have to ask, but how could he not? His heart was beating faster. “Are you seeing her again?”

Dean shrugged. “Maybe. She gave me her number.”

“You should call her.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, good,” Cas said, quiet. “I want you to be happy, Dean.”

“I am happy, man.”

Cas closed his eyes. He felt like he should say so much more. He hadn’t planned it, but this felt like a conclusion. It might be the best he could get. Suddenly he was terrified to ruin it. 

“Okay, good,” he repeated. “I should go now, I think.”

“All right. I’ve gotta get some sleep. Call again soon, okay? I want to hear about your school and stuff.”

“Of course.”

“Kay, bye.” Beep. Cas listened to the disconnected line until it started to screech at him.

“I miss you.”

Cas threw himself into classes. The few friends he had made started seeing even less of him. They weren’t enough of a distraction - they only amplified his loneliness. Because they weren’t who he wanted.

A few weeks went by in silence. Cas started leaving his phone behind so he wouldn’t be tempted. Dean couldn’t call him since the rates were so high and Cas was using an app that changed phone numbers each time he called the states. So they could only talk when Cas called first. That made it easier. And then, when it got to be too much, it made it completely impossible. 

Cas jumped out of bed and glanced at the clock. One a.m.? That wasn’t completely unreasonable. He crossed the hall and knocked on his flatmate’s door. He opened it a crack.

“Balthazar? Are you awake?”

“I am now you wanker.”

“Can I come in?” Castiel whispered.

“If you must.”

Cas awkwardly closed the door and hesitated. Balthazar watched him from over his shoulder. He scooted to one side of the bed and threw the covers back.

“Can I…?” Cas started.

“Come on,” Balthazar snapped. “Get in, it’s bloody freezing.”

“Okay.”

They laid side by side. Cas stared up at the ceiling. Balthazar was huddled in on himself, but he turned over to arch toward Castiel.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Cas blinked. “Not really.”

“Do you want me to distract you?” Cas looked over at him sharply and Balthazar laughed. “Not like that, Cassie. I know you’re infatuated with your Yankee back home.”

“Oh. Then, yes, please.”

So they fell asleep to Balthazar playing all his favorite songs and breathing some of the words under his breath. When Cas found one he liked he made him play it over and over again until he knew the words, too. 

Things were surprisingly pleasant when they woke up to the sound of Balthazar’s alarm. Cas sat up in the bed and waited while his flatmate used the bathroom. 

“I haven’t spoken to him in twenty-two days,” he said morosely when the boy returned.

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Did you have a falling out?”

“No, I’m just in love with him.” It was the first time he’d admitted it to someone out loud. 

“And?”

Cas glared. “And he doesn’t love me.”

“Well then he’s a nutter. But you clearly miss him and I think it would do you good to call him. Keep your friend.”

Cas sighed. “I can’t do that.”

But he went back to his room and found his phone that he had buried under a pile of blankets a few days ago. There were four messages spread over the past week:

Hey, man, haven’t heard from you. What’s up?

Went out with Anna last night. 

Cas? Call me when you can.

I saw your pictures, I guess you’re busy. Text me back, dude!

 

Cas typed out three different replies and deleted them all. He sighed and shut his phone off. 

The last week of classes passed slowly. He was feeling melancholy, going home in two weeks would be bittersweet.

He went to the pub to study with Balthazar and Michael almost every day before finals began. Then they would start drinking in earnest. Cas and Balthazar dropped Michael off at his flat, and stumbled home themselves. 

Balthazar tripped over his own feet so many times Cas eventually grabbed his hand to help him along.

“Never thought you’d make the first move, Cassie.”

“Says the boy who invited me into his bed,” Cas laughed.

“Says the boy who invited himself into my room in the middle of the night!”

Cas glanced down still smiling, but blushing. “Fair.”

Balthazar grinned triumphantly. 

Dean was waiting in front of their flat with a duffle bag and sour expression. He could see the two boys coming up the walkway but they hadn’t noticed him yet. They were both smiling, and they looked so happy. Dean swallowed against a lump in his throat.

Hadn’t Cas told him to be happy? With Anna. Was that because Cas himself had found someone to be happy with? Dean clutched his bag tighter and contemplated sneaking away into the darkness. Cas need never know he flew all the way here.

But then Cas looked up and saw him. They were just paces away from each other. Cas stared blankly, too surprised to do anything else. Dean gave him a half smile. Balthazar was looking between the two of them. He dropped Castiel’s hand and the boy snatched it back up like he’d been bitten, cradling it with his other arm. 

“That’s the Yankee?” Balthazar whispered loudly. 

“Surprise…?” Dean laughed awkwardly.

“Dean,” Cas breathed, taking a step forward. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged. “I came to see you.”

“Why?”

He sounded so truly confused that Dean threw caution to the wind and told the truth for once. Well, as much truth as he could handle. “Because I missed you, idiot.”

“Oh.”

“Is that….okay?”

Balthazar smiled then. “Of course! Please ignore Castiel’s apparent lack of manners. Americans, am I right? Would you like to come inside?”

“Uh.”

“Oh, yes.” Cas seemed to come to life. “Dean, come inside.”

He took his bag and led everyone in. He set a pot of water to boil because he didn’t know what else to do with his hands. Dean sat at the kitchen table. Balthazar winked at Cas from the doorway before retreating farther into the flat. 

Dean and Cas stared at each other, the island counter and table between them. Neither of them spoke. The only sound was the water heating up on the stove.

And then, loudly from down the hall. “Dean-o!”

Cas cringed at the sound of Gabriel’s voice. He was going to kill Balthazar. But then there was a loud crash, and footsteps coming closer, running. 

“I just want a little peek!” Gabriel was smiling, evilly, in the doorway for a split second before Balthazar tackled him to the ground with a grunt. The taller boy jumped back to his feet and dragged Gabriel down the hall by his leg. Gabriel struggled and screeched until one of the bedroom doors banged closed. “No!”

“What the hell?” Dean muttered.

“Sorry about that,” Cas said to his shoes.

“So…I guess they know who I am then.”

“I may have mentioned you once or twice.”

Dean didn’t know what to make of that. Cas served black tea in little green coffee mugs. Dean smiled across the table at him when he sat down, trying to keep his face neutral, pleasant.

“Look at you,” he said. “All British with your tea and sweater.”

“It’s called a jumper,” Cas said. 

Dean continued, swirling the contents of his cup and staring at the sheer, flat surface. “Even got yourself a boyfriend.”

It took a second for Cas took figure out what he meant and then he shook his head. “Oh, no, Balthazar’s not my boyfriend.”

“Really?” He let the hope seep through.

“Yes.”

They stared at each other.

“You know, for a second, when I saw you two I thought maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from you lately.”

“No,” Cas said instantly, and then is was too late to argue that nothing had been amiss. “That’s not…”

“Then what?”

“I just didn’t want to bother you, you know. Hold you back. We both have lives to live.”

Dean put his cup down. He spoke quietly, but stared, unwavering, at Cas. “What if I don’t want a life that doesn’t have you in it?”

Cas glanced up. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Really?” Cas emphasized.

“Dude, I just flew here. On an airplane. You think I’d do that if I didnt…if you weren’t important to me?”

Cas smiled. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more.”

“Not possible.” Cas shook his head, smiling bashfully.

And this what it, Dean knew, his openeing. He should make some big declaration and make Cas his, finally, if Cas would have him. He swallowed. This shouldn’t be so freaking hard. He loved Cas. So Much. It was worth the risk, it had to be. Not admitting his feelings was killing him. 

But then Cas was standing up, taking the half-empty tea cups to the sink. He rinsed them out. Dean scrambled to his feet.

“Let me help.” He held one of Cas’s wrists. Cas shook his head.

“Just leave it, we can do it in the morning. I’m tired.” Cas leaned a hip against the sink and stared at Dean, searching. Dean felt exposed and understood all at once.

Second chance, he told himself. He reached out with shaking fingers to take Castiel’s hand. Cas smiled lightly. Dean stared into his eyes, nervous and distracted. Castiel’s eyes were perfect - blue and clear and perfect. Dean cleared his throat.

“I’m tired,” Cas repeated, whispering. He met Dean’s gaze evenly. “Come to bed?”

Dean laughed once and nodded. Cas led him away and turned off the kitchen light. Come to bed. Here Dean was trying to think of the perfect things to say and Cas barely says anything at all. It worked. Neither of them got much sleep, for once with good reason. 

Later that night they heard another crash from the room across the hall. A door slammed open. Gabriel was screeching again. 

“Dean! He loves you!” Gabriel shouted. He only made it halfway to the kitchen this time. Thud. “Ow!”

“Where did they go?” Balthazar sounded disgruntled.

Cas giggled, tiredly, from Dean’s arms. Dean kissed him once and then leaned back to yell, “I love him, too!”


End file.
